Yet I have two incredible children and a marriage that survived really difficult times. We own a home in beautiful San Diego that I treasure, though it's arguably much too small for us. I have a cute puppy and a new, challenging career that's just getting off the ground; a lot to be happy about, a lot to look forward to.
Even though my to-do list includes bucket loads more responsibility than ever before, I also have more free mental space. My head is no longer filled with needless questions, like "What do they think of me? So, as my 40th birthday approaches, I look back on my former self with compassion, but I have no interest in reminiscing about the good old days of youth.
Because, honestly, they weren't that great to begin with. Admittedly, part of me may look longingly at pictures of my fresher, younger self, but I know that there was so much inner turmoil beneath the veneer of smooth skin.
In a culture that prizes youth and beauty, it's hard to age without dye and fillers and filters. Many people have already observed this. In a culture that prioritizes money, fame, and worldly success, it's hard to step back and measure your own life and your own worth differently. But I think, if you want a dollop of satisfaction in life, you must. So, despite what your search engine may tell you, 40 isn't the new 20 or Forty is the new And I'm officially alright with that.
Women face the very real risk of becoming has-beens before we have ever really had the chance to be anything. So, we struggle to look younger. To keep our age ambiguous. Maybe we outright lie.
Too often we are our own worst critics, feeling unworthy and outdated instead of grateful for another year and proud of what we did on the way there. Yet as I debated my public age with my much younger husband, I felt better than ever.
Sure, I looked better at 25, but what did I actually have then besides a nicer ass? I spent my 20s trying to get the grades, land the job, prove myself at the firm. The reporter writing this, for example, tried FaceApp's old age filter , and found it frightening, uncanny, and probably accurate. And, clearly, he's not the only one. For example, a study with over , respondents!
The study, published in Frontiers in Psychology, noted that when adults were asked about their ideal age, older adults chose older ideal ages. For example, year-olds, on average, chose their mids as their ideal age range, while year-olds chose their early 40s. Other research points to the negatives attitudes associated with aging.
According to one study , people who are frowning looker older than people who aren't. While it's unclear whether people actually feel younger than their age, or just say they do, Chopik thinks we're naturally biased to favor youth. Now you listen to your own intuition when it comes to determining your sense of style , not the dubious advice of someone in a glossy who you'll never meet. In your 30s, you likely realized that there were dozens of popular celebrities out there who were not only younger than you, but who you couldn't pick out in a lineup.
And that might have triggered a mini meltdown. In your 40s, you don't care if your friends' kids look at you like you have three heads because you don't know who Billie Eilish is. When someone in a store is calling out, "Ma'am! It may feel as though you've just hit your stride in your career, but as your 40s progress, your friends are likely to start talking seriously about planning for their retirement.
So, if you haven't already, it might be a good idea to start thinking about upping those k contributions. Though it's up to you if you buy a Corvette, get a nose ring, or quit your job following your 40th birthday, research suggests that many forty-somethings will find themselves experiencing a crisis of sorts.
According to a study published in the International Journal of Behavioral Development , 46 percent of men and 59 percent of women have some sort of crisis between 40 and However, the signs of a midlife crisis aren't always as obvious as a convertible in the driveway.
One thing few forty-somethings find themselves prepared for are the serious health issues that tend to crop up among their inner circle.
Whether it's parents getting older or friends dealing with cancer , the first major health problem to affect your loved ones will likely hit you like a freight train. While few people relish the opportunity to get poked and prodded by their doctor, it's not generally a frightening experience—until you hit your 40s, that is.
Every time you go for a check-up , you start worrying about a strange new freckle, what that glass of wine last night did to your liver, or whether your routine appointment will find something terrible you never anticipated.
Even if you just went in to get some medication for a sinus infection, don't be surprised if you leave the doctor's office hours later, thanks to an unexpected series of tests. After turning 40, every visit to your MD involves some new medical test—and tons of reminders to start scheduling those mammograms and colonoscopies. If you're in your 40s, don't be surprised if your sex life isn't exactly as hot as it was a decade or two prior.
But not all hope is lost: A review of research published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that couples who have sex infrequently are no less happy than those getting it on on a regular basis. There is, however, a silver lining when it comes to your sex life in your 40s. At this age, you not only know what you want, you're also likely less self-conscious than you were just a few years prior, making it easier to enjoy yourself in the bedroom.
Even if your hair has managed to maintain its natural color throughout your 30s, don't expect it to last much longer. In fact, research published in the British Journal of Dermatology in found that 74 percent of people between the ages of 45 and 65 develop gray hair.
A few grays aren't the only changes in your hair you might notice after There's your eye cream, the one you use on your neck, the one you put on before bed, the one that moisturizes your newly dry elbows, and all those prescription ones from the dermatologist that are supposed to take care of the surprising skin ailments you didn't realize were going to afflict you in your 40s. But no matter how many anti-aging creams you've spent money on or how many times you've tried to avoid crinkling up your face when you laugh, if you're over 40, count on wrinkles appearing as if out of nowhere.
Even if your eyesight has always been good, chances are it will start to get a little less sharp in your 40s.
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